From Fear To Love

Learning from Fear
By Dr. Tim Ong, M.B.B.S.

Nobody likes to feel fearful and because of that, most people will habitually react to fear by avoiding, repressing or suppressing it. It takes courage and wisdom to see that our fear can be our greatest teacher.

When we examine our fear, we will often discover that it is irrational. There is no real basis or substance to our fear. That is why fear is often described as "False Evidence Appearing Real". Fear is a self created illusion built upon past experiences or imprints. The situation may have changed but the imprints compel us to react in a knee jerk manner without proper examination and re-evaluation of the new situation.

The good news is that this habit or tendency CAN be transformed.

The Fear of Rejection

One of the most common fears is the fear of rejection. This fear comes in many forms.

For example, a person with this fear often feels it a challenge to talk to authority figures, whether these be their parents, teachers, superiors or even government bodies. They are especially fearful to ask for or request things from these people. The feeling of fear of rejection is an automatic response that arises from past experience of rejections from these same authority figures.

Another manifestation of this fear of rejection is in the inability to say "no" to other people's requests. This is the other end of the spectrum and arises because of the fear of being rejected by the person who made the request.

Confront Your Fear

The best way to overcome your fear is to confront it. However, there are two opposing ways to confrontation. You can confront your fear with great compassion and gentleness, or you can confront it combatively. The more skillful and effective way is naturally to confront it compassionately.

When you confront your fear compassionately, you'll soon discover the underlying false belief that gives rise to that fear. You'll learn that the external situation is merely a mirror reflection of your inner mental state. That false belief gives rise to a correspondingly false perception of reality, thus the irrationality of the fear.

Confronting your fear compassionately means to see it without any judgment and blame. It means to take responsibility for your emotion and even to embrace it with love. When you can do this, you'll be grateful for your fear because you know it is there only as a teacher. It is there to help you see your real self.

So the next time you experience fear, pause for a moment and examine it with love and compassion. Allow this teacher to show you the lesson you need to learn.

As they said, "Do the things you fear and the death of fear is certain."

Author:

Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor with keen interests in self improvement, mind science and spirituality. He is the author ofFrom Fear to Love: A Spiritual Journey and a contributor to 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 3 together with other authors like Ken Blanchard, Byron Katie, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Brown.

Free From Fear

Why Fear Limits Your Life Potential

Have you ever felt like fear was preventing you from reaching your full potential in life?  If so, you are certainly not alone because fear is one of the biggest obstacles that many people face when trying to create better life circumstances.

Below are some of the most common ways that fear can hold you back:

• Fear can prevent you from making positive changes.
  
  
• Sometimes fear can make even the smallest changes seem extremely uncomfortable.  For example, you may be deeply dissatisfied with your job, but feel nervous or uncertain about finding and applying for a better one.  Or you may have always dreamed of buying your own home but worry that the responsibility would be too much to handle.
  
  
• Fear can prevent you from breaking destructive habits.
  
  
• We all know that smoking, poor dietary choices, excessive alcohol and a sedentary lifestyle are a recipe for health problems, but we often gravitate toward these habits because they help numb our anxious or fearful feelings.  If you have ever tried to break a bad habit like this, you know how stressful it can be because suddenly you are filled with anxiety and you don’t know how to handle it except to run back to your “pacifiers” – the very habits you are trying to break.
  
  
• Fear can prevent you from taking risks.
  
  
• Many of us shy away from risk because we fear negative consequences.  For example, you may hesitate to invest your money because you fear losing it, or avoid starting a new relationship because you were so hurt by the last one.  What most of us fail to realize is that risk can also bring great rewards.  Avoiding risk may help us avoid negative possibilities but we also miss the excitement and joy that come from positive outcomes.
  
  
• Fear can prevent you from pursuing your goals.
  
  
• Have you ever dreamed of doing something great but were never able to push yourself to do it?  Perhaps you dreamed of being a stand-up comedian but dreaded the thought of public speaking, or you desperately wanted to be a bestselling author but were too afraid to pen that novel lurking inside of you.
  
  
• Fear can prevent you from expanding your life.
  
  
• Social anxiety is another common way that fear can limit your potential.  It may prevent you from attending networking functions so your career or business can’t grow properly, or you may avoid taking that much needed vacation to relax and explore other cultures because you fear flying or being on a cruise ship.

How to Stop Fear from Limiting Your Potential

It’s important to note that all of these fears are most often groundless.  They are merely a perception that things “could” go wrong – but that doesn’t mean they will. 

Rather than trying to force your way through the fear, you may find it easier to explore the many ways that fear can be effectively released from your mind, emotions, and body.  When you know how to release the fear, you simply handle it as you would any minor obstacle and then continue on your way to creating the best life you possibly can.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Alternatively download the new Free ebook – 22 Powerful Tools To Transform Your Fear Into Happiness, Peace and Inspiration. (Affiliate URL) – Crammed full of valuable tips, exercises and ideas – it could be the most important ebook you read this year.